The Power of a Lie: Being Free of Mom Guilt

God doesn’t bless perfect parenting, it does not exist. He blesses humble parenting, a recognition that without Him, it cannot be done.

baby and me

If there were a person you knew, who could only tell lies, how often would you listen to what they had to say? What we believe in our minds, regardless or not if they are true, become our reality. Scripture tells us that Satan is the father of all lies (John 8:44). Yet, we continue to allow him to have territory in our minds, which if you are saved, belong to Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

An elephant who is being trained in a circus, can be held down by a tiny nail in the ground, because it believes the lie that it cannot break free. There are many lies that we believe that the enemy tells us. And I feel a certain need to expose these lies, especially the lies we women and mothers hear, so that we can begin to walk in the freedom that God intended us to.

So I am beginning a small series (of which I do not know the length) talking about the power of a lie. Each post will be another lie exposed so that freedom can be had!

Today’s post is on a lie that I have been personally battling this week in particular; mom guilt. This lie often shows it’s ugly head in phrases such as: “If you rest or take time to yourself, you’re a bad mom; good moms don’t need a break”, “You’re not doing good enough, your baby should be doing what the others are doing right now”, “If you go to work your baby will miss you and will grow up with issues”, “If you don’t work you won’t be able to provide everything that your baby needs so you’re a bad mom”, “You shouldn’t be taking time to start a blog, you need to be taking care of your baby”, “Your husband is going to resent you if he has to help out more than usual”…. and the lies go on and on.

No one prepared me for mom guilt. I had heard about it prior to becoming a mom but I didn’t think I would have an issue with it. What was so crazy about it is mom guilt started before John even was born! I remember working (before I knew I would get to stay home with him) and feeling guilty that John would be at his grandmother’s homes all day. I remember pre-counting the amount of time I would have with him and even crying about it to my husband (who probably thought I was crazy).

“Raising him is my job, I should be the one seeing his first crawl, first steps, first laugh…” Even before I held him in my arms, I believed the lie regarding mom guilt, which is essentially this: the responsibility of your child is yours alone so you better be perfect or else. 

Now this isn’t to disregard the common sense notion that parents are responsible for raising their children. This is a deeper thought that puts an unbearable amount of pressure and weariness on the mother’s shoulders to be everything and do everything all the time for everybody.

The reality of this lie this week has shown itself in when I have spent time to write a blog or prepare for an activity. I look in the other room where my husband is feeding and playing with John and I am doing something for myself and then BAM… guilt hits. You are selfish, you are wasting precious time, you shouldn’t be doing this, he needs you… it bombarded my mind this week, almost to the point of leading me to stop doing something I feel like God called me to.

Finally, I chose to be still. To listen to what God had to say. And this is what He said.

“Katie, you are not enough. You in yourself will never be enough. Not for Tyler, not for John, not even for yourself.  But in Me, you are enough. I called you and created you to be John’s mama. I called you and created you to do the things I am calling you to do for Me. And in Me, you CAN do both. Trust Me with your marriage. Trust Me with your children. Trust Me with your ministry. Stop allowing guilt to take away the joy of the present moment. Release your husband, children, and ministry to Me, and let Me bear your burdens. If you mess up, then you don’t have to worry, because you have given them into My hands.”

And I finally felt peace because I realized up to this point I had been trying to carry the burdens of things that He had called me to release back to Him. If I try to carry the pressure of making sure all things are perfect, or taking care of, by ME in my home, then I have set myself up for a load that will crush me. I set my mind up for guilt, fear, anxiety, shame, depression.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest {renewal and blessed quiet] for your souls. My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

The lie essentially is this: you are not enough of a mother for them. The truth is this: in Him, you are enough because HE is enough.

As we break down some of these lies in our lives, which will break down the false power they have on us, we will come to know an essential truth. This truth is that not every thought that comes into your mind is yours; which means you don’t have to keep it.

Let us renew our minds daily, cast every thought that comes against Christ down, and make every thought obedient to Christ. (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5)

Today let us focus on releasing mom guilt to God. Release that pressure you have put on yourself to be perfect. And trust that God can guide you every day to raise those babies right. And when you have a bad day (which you will), trust that God has your family in His hands and enjoy the abundant blessing of family that He has given you.

So I don’t know about you, but I am tired of carrying guilt that isn’t mine to carry. I want to boldly walk before my children, showing them a woman of God who will do what He says regardless of comfort or attack, and serve Him mightily with boldness and authority.

So join me in releasing the power of the lie of mom guilt and be free!

Happy Homemaking and may God bless you and your families abundantly with grace, mercy, and love!

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s